|
Not to be understood by her mother, it is difficult; being too well, it doesn't always permit to find her own path. Because sometimes mother and girls only form one, in a quasi-exclusive relation. When the love between them is too fusionnel, attention, danger! There are the mothers who criticize and those that listen... Become their daughter's best friend, some live by proxy the teenager's adventures and are, in spite of them, destructive, because it is difficult to escape them.  ..The mother-confidante Some mothers are afraid so that their daughter lives outside of them, than them the "phagocytent" since the small childhood. Confidantes of all her griefs and all her happiness, they also confide him their dissatisfactions and their waitings. Thereafter, he is well difficult, for the girl, to distinguish her own emotion of the one of her mother, since the two women always had a relation fusionnelle. Thus, the girl in love will confide without hesitating to this mother to which one is able all to say, and this one" that knows her daughter because she made" it will counsel it or will orient it. Friend with her mother, the girl becomes the prisoner, without the knowledge, also of it. Because her emotional structure includes this tie fusionnel. Not question to separate her mother, even when she will have a life of couple: she knows the inside the pain that her mother would feel, if one ousted it, and don't consider to be responsible for this suffering. In a tie mother-girl fusionnel, to make stand her mother, it make themselves also suffer one.  ..To escape possessiveness Some mothers and girls phone themselves every day, or even several times per day. Anything of that that is not intimate for one is foreign to the other. Inversely, when the girl suffers, the mother is always there to put back it of aplomb. This tie, that could appear ideal, reject makes the other of it out of a sphere of matchless intimacy. So the in love and sexual partner doesn't occupy whereas a secondary place by the girl. He can even be brought to seduce the mother to win the girl, as if the mother and the girl only made one, or because the look of one orients the one of the other. So much as mother and girl are in agreement, all goes well for them. From the moment where the girl becomes aware not to have her clean life, and wants to privilege another love that the one that she has for her mother, the relations deteriorate violently. Shared between compassion for her mother and hate towards the one that refuses him a life outside of her, she risks to spend her life pulling themselves of this almighty mother in a crisis of adolescence without end.  ..Of the mother fusionnelle to the abusive mother Some mothers never give up keeping a dominant place by their daughter. They counsel, judge, criticize, without understanding that they must release takes. Sometimes, they maintain at their daughter a feeling of weakness, so that this one continues to lean on them. The adult girl, feeling guilty not to be at her mother's height, doesn't give herself the right, unconsciously, nor to succeed her life in love nor to achieve themselves professionally. When the mother-girl relations is to this damaged point, when the mother's emotional ascendancy on the girl is insurmountable, this one must not hesitate to have resort to a psychotherapist who will help it to part symbolically with this too devouring mother.                                                                                               2008-12-15
|
