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The total obscurity, that appears to you so relaxing, takes for him of the trap paces. Feared of a mean crouched in the shade or merely irrational fear. He fell asleep so easily in the black refuses henceforth that one extinguishes its night-light. The obscurity disorientates itRare are the children who escape the fear of the black. Frequent between two and five years, this anguish regroups several parameters. In the obscurity, impossible to control his environment, to verify that no monster prowls, to recover his doudou, the sense of the bed or merely the path of the toilets. Far from being source of serenity, the obscurity becomes, for the child, a vast trap to the heart of which, disorientated, it feels completely resourceless. He falls asleep with difficulty, wake up the night, cry and call you. To this moment, the best conduct to hold consists in raising you, to light a light in his room and, if it speaks to you witches watching behind the curtain, to verify with it that it is in total security. Reassured, he will lull himself. To the daily, don't hesitate to install a small night-light in his room or to take the habit to let the light of the passageway lit the night. Between obscurity and darkness, the difference is important: one anguish, the other reassures. To tame the fear to pass it betterThe true stake consists however in helping it to tame and to defeat this fear. And it passes by the dialogue. To identify stress, to take it seriously without dramatizing it and, especially, to incite your child to bring some answers there. Invite it to describe his fear, in order to surround all aspects of it. Show to him that you understand his anguish, without you there to associate, while saying for example: "Me also, you know. ". You would only have it reinforced. Evoke on the other hand one of your child's concerns, that doesn't share him; he will feel some stronger. Help it to evoke that he was afraid and that he knew how to pass, for example to sleep in another house that you or to bathe on vacation in the sea. Let him have the time to recall itself this victory on himself. In the evening, to the bedtime, sing with him a "triumphal" nursery rhyme and measure with him the confidence that he brings this shape of extériorisation. Finally, help it to identify his resources in case of need: for example the switch of the night-light, close at hand: "If you want, you can light" it. You won't get the victory in one evening, but this is how little by little he will triumph over his child's fears to advance serene toward his adult's life. 2009-04-03
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