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The teenagers also use a lot of seduction that of impertinence. The open critiques don't frighten them, the big words either. They test the adult's reaction thus facing their behavior, judge the limits to respect and understand what they can make or no. When provocation and coarseness become one life style. The teenager's insolence recalls the previous periods of the childhood where opposition rhythmized with "no" and "pee, excrement sausage.". Some years later, the vocabulary scatologique and coarse is refined itself. It is now used to good knowledge. Confronted you therefore again to one period of more challenging opposition. Provocation against educationTo criticize, to answer and to insult that is his manner to express his independence, certainly in a clumsy manner. Your teenager is so little to the clear with what he feels indeed that he uses the provocation like a language. He puts a distance thus with you, he searches for his autonomy while having need of security. This is how the most insolent teenagers are often the most dependent. The insolence is a rampart against the complex feelings that the assaillent and a way to develop the feeling of his own identity. He is different of the education that you gave to him: "but m. I speak as I want, I make as I want p., let me live my life."by the use of coarse terms. By this provocation, he tests your resistance and your respect of the parental codes that you instilled to him. Emotion and aggressiveness latentThe language, the accent and the choice of the words are part of a recognition code and mark the sign of an adherence to a group. By these behaviors, he refines his desire to identify themselves of it, it is the way that he found to feel to exist outside of you. In a general way, what he wants to express is different from what he says, he has some difficulties to know what he wants and to understand what he feels. He doesn't find the words and the arguments to defend his point of view facing you. The insolence and coarseness is what comes him the most easily to avoid to let themselves overflow by his emotions and his latent aggressiveness. The judgments "you are irritating. what c. old naze, etc." and some destructive subjects often punctuate your conversations in an abrupt manner. The least remark or frustration can also start such an impulsive attitude. It is also a manner to exorcise the violence: to insult a friend, to the school or to sport, very often permits to avoid the passage to the act. How to react?To be related, it give the example: attention therefore, to the manner whose speech circulates in the family. A teenager tends to copy the fashion of expression of the adults, believing to appear thus bigger. A little provocation is normal to this age. Don't get on your high horse every time he says an out of place word, you especially risk the climbing. Put some limits all the same while already putting the hey on the rawest words. He must understand that he is important of himself autocensurer and that before you, all is not permitted. Between brothers and sisters or friends forbid the hurtful and coarse abuses. He has the right to be in anger and to express ithemselves freely but with respect and without vulgarity. It is necessary that he understands the respect towards the other and tolerance, and that he measures carried it of his words: would he support such injuries? What helps the more that is to speak of it, one feels less alone while confronting his lived with other parents of child of the same age. To note the difficult passage, in to laugh together relieves and permits to take the distance. 2009-06-08
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