How to speak sex with the teenagers?

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To speak of all with children, easy to say! But how to treat sexual questions without terseness, while respecting the intimacy of each? How to free the teenagers of their anguishes or their received ideas?

Of love and sex, our society speaks to of it extensively! The topic is not more taboo, but it remains difficult for a teenager to get ready to the sexual life. Can his parents help it?

Sexuality and prevention

At the teenagers, a non wanted pregnancy, it is frequent and, the most often, dramatic. When one is less than 18 years old, more of a pregnancy on two balance itself by an IVG: 6 000 minor decide each year thus to abort. "For a girl, to say "I am enclosed" that is made of it to say "I lay down." When the relations in love have never been landed home, it is sometimes a shame insurmountable", explain Martine Leroy, of the Family planning of Nantes.

To the non wanted pregnancies come to be added the sexually transferable illnesses (notably hepatitis and the AIDS). And there it is again, always serious.

Facing these risks, the parents don't have the right to make the dead end on the topic of the sexuality.

Numerous studies have been achieved on the impact of the sex education programs. No surprise, most of them show that the aware teenagers frequent the centers of family planning more gladly and are of bigger "consumers" of pill and condoms.

But when information amounts to the prevention of the illnesses or the survey of reproduction, the teenagers hold some little counts: to the age where one believes that "that only arrives to the others", other questions are for them a lot more burning: he is to his taste, how to behave in bed, my penis is it long enough, I am going to have badly, etc.

To choose the good interlocutor

When they are rerouted by these questions or their child's attitude, the parents can propose him an appointment with a physician general practitioner or un(e) gynecologist who will be able to counsel the teenager. For Professor Israel Nisand, responsible of the obstetric gynecology service to him FALLEN from Strasbourg, the role of the parents, that is to transmit a "morals"; but not question to let them the opportunity to interfere in the sexuality of their children: this one must remain confidential and the personal property of each.

It prefers the speech of a third, to approach with tolerance and open-mindedness the topic. Not wanting either to let this role in the school institution, he organized since 1992 interventions in college by pupils of fourth or third, consistent, so necessary, of free individual consultations in the info-teenagers centers. It also created on the net an info-teenagers site.

The pleasure, that doesn't tell itself

The myth of the Charming Prince, kept by the narrations of the life of the stars, by the novels or the movies, distort the vision that the teenagers have the love and the sexuality; is better to give them other tracks of reflection, to explain that the sexuality doesn't amount to the sexual intercourse, that every age has its own sexuality, etc.

The books often represent an excellent mediation, what doesn't prevent the dialogue, not of the all to speak of sex in family, it would return the taboo topic, and, while exciting the curiosity clean to the adolescence, would provoke some conducts to risks or unlike the difficult blockages to surmount. However, not more that the children don't have to know the sexual fantasies of their parents, these must not try to inquire about the sexual emotions of their offspring. The important, it is to recall that concerning sexuality: no age to have his first sexual relation, not of minimum time so that the sexual act is succeeded; it is to every couple to discover how to make the love. Only one norm, that is also a law only exists: the two partners must be in agreement.

2009-10-05