The Highway Patrol Approach to Discipline and Correction

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There are as many discipline methods and techniques as there are parents.

Correction methods for children regarding misbehavior, offensive remarks, and family rule violations typically range from physically abuse to no parental involvement. Each parent has his or her own style, methods, and attitudes about discipline and correction.

Imagine videotaping parents as they interact with their children during the week. Reviewing all the tapes, we could find a variety of parenting behaviors and discipline styles.

Some of those discipline methods and techniques may include:

Ignoring all misbehavior that is not life-threatening
Threatening disciplines such as grounding, spanking, etc.
Scolding and yelling at the child
Lectures about genetics – "Stop acting like your father!"
Assigning time-outs or isolating the youth in their room
Demanding information about the misbehavior – "Why did you hit Tommy?"
Lecturing the child about the misbehavior
Isolating and terrifying the child – locking them in a closet
Calling the child names or making derogatory comments
Spanking the child on the buttocks (butt in southern Ohio)
Making the child feel guilty – "You're the reason I'm sick all the time!"
Slapping the child in the face
Threatening time travel – "I should knock you into next week!"
Striking the child with a belt, paddle, or other object
Grounding the child
Humiliating the child in front of other children
Laughing about the misbehavior
Warning the child that the next misbehavior will bring serious consequences
Fortune telling – "You're going to end up in prison if you keep acting this way!"

The methods of discipline are unique to each parent and each family. In some two-parent families, both parents may use the same methods. In other two-parent families, the methods used by the parents may be completely different, prompting the children to prefer discipline by one parent and developing fear of the other parent. When parents are divorced or when several residences are involved, parenting methods may differ with each location.

Where did we develop our current method of discipline? In most cases, we use the method that was present in our childhood environment. If our parents yelled and screamed – we will likely yell and scream at our children. It's no secret that physically and/or emotionally abused children often become physically and emotionally abusive parents. Some discipline methods seem to be preferred in certain families, as though the method and technique was approved for use in that family. I've noticed some families have approved aggressive and violent parenting methods such as face slapping, paddling with switches/belts/boards, or injury-producing physical assaults. Adults using these methods typically have a justification such as "I was brought up that way and I turned out ok".

The methods of discipline/correction in a home have a strong influence on later teenage and adult behavior and attitude. We can create certain behaviors and attitudes in our children by the discipline methods we use in the family. Most of the time, the parent may be unaware they are creating these behaviors and attitudes as they are using methods that have been accepted in their family for generations. Over the years, I've seen parents mention the correction of their child and the methods used without any sense that the method may be abusive or emotionally damaging. I've heard "I told him I'll kill myself if he doesn't straighten up" or "When she said that word I busted her in the mouth and she didn't say it again!"

Without question, all children will be in need of discipline and correction. It's an important part of the personality and emotional development of the child. However, some methods are more psychologically and socially healthy than others. Some methods may change the path of a child's personality – permanently.

In the interest of rearing socially and emotionally healthy children, we want to use the most effective methods that have the fewest negative side effects. The Highway Patrol Approach to Discipline and Correction is an attempt to provide guidelines for better discipline methods. This approach may also help parents understand how using poor discipline methods can damage the positive attitude and behavior of a child.

The Highway Patrol Approach

The Highway Patrol Approach uses the discipline and correction methods of the adult world with children. In the adult world, inappropriate types of discipline and correction are often legally corrected through legal actions, civil suits, media exposure, etc. Authority figures who correct adults - such as law enforcement personnel, job supervisors, government representatives – have strict guidelines regarding how corrections are applied and in what situations. For this reason, the adult world does not use many discipline and correction methods that would be psychologically damaging, at least for minor offenses. Additionally, the adult world has similar guidelines in all situations – correction at work, in the community, in social situations, etc.

The adult world also includes an element of fairness by emphasizing appropriate discipline and consequences. The criminal justice system actually ranks offenses by their seriousness or degree of victimization. Corrections and punishments used for murderers cannot be used for individuals who steal gas from your automobile. In short, the severity of punishment matches the severity of the crime in the adult world.

Methods of discipline and correction used by parents would not be tolerated in the adult world. Severe and damaging parenting techniques are used with children as the children have little ability to exercise their constitutional rights. They can't challenge their consequences and can't afford an attorney. Let's imagine the consequences of using some child parenting techniques in the adult world:

When a coworker uses a profanity – try sticking a bar of soap in his or her mouth.
If your supervisee is tardy for work, try taking away his/her automobile for a week.
When your coworker "talks back" and disagrees with you, slap them on the mouth.
When a coworker fails to turn in a report on time, begin crying and telling them "You're the reason I never get a promotion!"

In the adult world, each of these coworker behaviors can be corrected, but through a process that is strictly business. This "strictly business" approach is found in almost all businesses and operates in the community as well. In the US, for example, sticking a bar of soap in someone's mouth will find you charged with assault.

Does using an adult-world approach to the correction and discipline of children make sense? Let's review the statistics (all psychologists do this by the way). Based on current numbers, five percent of all children have experienced severe physical abuse. Statistics on emotional abuse are more difficult to obtain. However, a Bureau of Justice Statistics 1999 report entitled "Contacts between Police and the Public" estimates that less than half of one percent of an estimated 44 million people who had face-to-face contact with a police officer were threatened or actually experienced force. Importantly, those face-to-face contacts occurred because the individual was involved in a crime of some sort – while child can be disciplined for non-crimes such as spilling milk, back-talking, homework problems, etc. Clearly, fewer children will be physically or emotionally abused if we follow a law enforcement model.

The Highway Patrol is used as an example of professionalism in discipline and correction. There may be other examples of professional law enforcement in your area. The Highway Patrol, or state police in the United States, offers us a model of responding to problems with behavior or rule violations. I'm assuming for this model, that the Highway Patrol officers in other states are as professional as those in Ohio.

The Highway Patrol Approach is strictly business, not emotional or reactive, and corrects behavior through punishment (the fine) and bringing attention to the incorrect behavior. If you are speeding on the highway and are pulled over by the Highway Patrol, after viewing your license and registration, the conversation goes something like this:

Highway Patrol: "Mr. Jones, you were clocked going 65 in a 55 mile per hour zone."

The officer has just informed you of the incorrect behavior and the legal and required behavior.

Highway Patrol: "The fine for speeding in this state is $85.00. Please sign this ticket."

The officer has informed you of the punishment (fine) for that offense.

Highway Patrol: "Instructions for paying the fine are included on the back of your copy. Have a nice day."

The officer remains polite and businesslike. He does not ask why you were speeding. He does not try to make you understand the reason for speeding laws in that state. He does not insult you with "How can you be so stupid?" or "Where did you get this junker of an automobile?"

The Highway Patrol Approach involves three simple steps:

Step 1: Identify the offense or correct behavior.
Step 2: Inform the offender of the punishment or fine.
Step 3: Remain polite and calm.

When used with children, and adults for that matter, the Highway Patrol Approach is effective in reducing hostility, anger, and incorrect behavior. The fine for speeding won't force the offender into legal bankruptcy, will sting in the pocketbook, but is not unbearable. It's also not easy to ignore. The Highway Patrol Approach has been found to be very effective in the adult world. If we pay a credit card bill late, we are "fined" a late fee as a reminder that prompt payment is required. If our behavior isn't corrected and we are continuously late in our payment or fail to make a payment, the "fine" increases to notifications to the credit bureau or eventual repossession of our big-screen television. Methods of correction in adulthood seek to provide a punishment that is appropriate for the violation as well as avoiding punishments that are extra, excessive, or damaging.

The Highway Patrol Approach is a method of using the adult world approach with children. It decreases the anxiety and anger often associated with parental discipline in both the children and the parents. By identifying the incorrect behavior, providing an appropriate fine or punishment, and maintaining a calm, business-like interaction with the child, we decrease the misbehavior while continuing our good relationship with the child. An example:

Parent: "Jimmy, you shoved your brother and you know we don't allow shoving and hitting in this family. I want you to go to your room for fifteen minutes. When your time is up you can join the rest of us and watch television. We'll see you in fifteen minutes."