Don't be afraid of the love anymore

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Him (her) pleased you to the first look, but impossible to make a step toward him (her). Him (her) is venu(e) to speak you, but you didn't succeed in articulating only one word. How to succeed in finding the kindred spirit when the shyness is stronger than the love?

That it is called shyness, social anxiety or fear of the other, that is always the same thing: facing the being who could make you happiest, you blush, your hands become moist or tremble. Your subjects are unpicked or you stutter. An inauspicious intestinal distending seizes you, your eyes get lost.

Enough the missed appointments!

Some shy take refuge in the silence. Others, without daring to cancel, don't come to the fixed appointments with the to be liked, arrive too late or fall sick. The difficulty to meet someone that one likes and of which one would like to be liked appears to this not insurmountable, that the shy prefers to dream a relation rather than to live it!

The lovers are always intimidated

If the shy aspen and blushes, it is because he fears to be underestimated. He is to this point preoccupied of his picture that he forgets some to abandon it for others. He takes himself for a victim. in the first place of his/her shyness. and waits therefore that the other comes to look for it. He is fascinated by the to be liked and, some stroke believes it at a time invulnerable and inaccessible. Is himself he only asked for this that the other felt facing him? The blushing lover is ridiculous, but he forgets that he disrupts, paralyze or even, his/her partner. This last is probably intimidated also him: in love, what of more normal? The risk is that it interprets to misinterpretation a look of slant, a lasting coldness, of the absences repeated to the appointments.

To dominate his fear to go toward the other

To heal his shyness, it is necessary to learn to live first with, until the day where one will know how to surmount it! The shy must first consist of his sensations: why does he fear to be rejected? How does het define the nature of the tried anguish?

Then, it is necessary to throw itself to water. To miss an appointment then to invent an unlikely excuse, not to dare to kiss it, then that trap themselves oneself and ridicule his partner. And then the other as can have the stage fright, even though he doesn't show it!

Best is to exercise themselves at home, with a friend or even frankly while playing the stage feared with a cousin, to face the true situations then. It is necessary to train also physically. As a woman who gets ready to a childbirth, it is necessary to work his breath, while displacing the breathing of the throat to the chest or to the stomach and to put his voice, so that she doesn't choke herself anymore in presence of the to be liked. To work the balance and the suppleness, thanks to the techniques of yoga for example, can also help to more to tremble to blush nor.

In short, the shy must learn to limit the outside demonstrations of his social anxiety. While succeeding in defeating his fear of the other, the shy will be capable to free his body then his mind, to find the love finally.

2009-02-20