Accept your spouse as it is!

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If the love is a marvelous feeling, the life of couple is not necessarily a sinecure! Between frictions and the incomprehensions, one can wonder if men and women are made to live together! And if the key of happiness was to stop wanting to all price to change the other, to accept it as it is?

In less a half century, the feminine and masculine models changed considerably. On a lot of aspects the man and the woman have the tendency to look alike, erasing the specificities, more and more now. However, according to John Gray, author of the book "The men come of March, the women come of Venus" , it would be the essential reason of the present failure of the couple relations. So it would be preferable to accept the other as he/it is rather than to want absolutely to make change it. This condition would be even indispensable so that the couple "can hold the road." Must you stop waiting for the impossible then?

Of the extraterrestrials one for the other.

For John Gray, the difference between men and women would be as radical as if they were descended of two distant planets: their ways to communicate, to act, to feel, to think and to like would be completely different. The men would extol the efficiency, the success, the autonomy, the power and would be interested more by the objectives and the results that by the relations and people. For the women what counts, it would be the exchange, the feelings, the grant of oneself, the intimacy.

Of the emotional needs of different basis

While leaning on his 20 years of experience of therapy of the couple, John Gray draws up a list of the emotional priorities of the men and women hired in a relation in love thus. In other words, he defines that of which they have need imperatively to feel beloved and in full bloom in their couple. According to him, the women would wait above all for the attention, of monitoring, the understanding, the respect, the attachment, the recognition and the acceptance of their feelings. The men, for their part, would ask above all for the admiration, the approval, the confidence and to be appreciated as they are.

As much to say that facing such divergences the misunderstandings and the conflicts are innumerable. The misunderstandings are unavoidable if each waits for the other that he has the centers of interest and a behavior in love identical to his!

To evolve together.

To rediscover that we are radically different and take counts the needs of each of it would be therefore the first steps to make to give a luck has his couple. To understand the spouse and to accept prevent it from accumulating frustrations, the rancors, the disappointments for everything for which one waits and that doesn't come (or not as one wishes it). Besides, this better understanding permits to offer to the other that of which it really has need.

It is solely once this installed mutual understanding that the couple can go from the before. The men and the women are then ready to evolve and to make the slim indispensable concessions to the planning of a satisfactory and sufficiently strong relation to hold in the inclemencies.

To you therefore to show evidence of opening, of tolerance, of respect. These qualities will be you useful in your couple, but also in your life in general!

2009-09-30