|
When we journey into the "Void", the truth we discover may be that we really want to quit the awful job, the dead relationship, yell and scream, and dance, and do anything other than shovel food and feelings into our body and soul. I am a binge eater and overeater. I suffered through years of calorie counting and 'yo-yo' dieting, with little success. I frantically ate chocolate truffles when I wasn't hungry. I was overweight and ashamed. One day I luckily stumbled upon Sacredhunger.com. Created by a recovered bulimic, author ("Living Binge-Free", "Beyond the Food Game"),and psychotherapist, Jane Latimer, this innovative model approaches overeating from a new perspective. They talk about 'aliveness' and feelings and tuning into our bodies, not about calorie counting. This incredible online curriculum (teleclasses and emailed lessons) gave me my first freedom from binging. Through the gateway of the woundWhen we go beyond calorie-counting we take a journey into the place where some of the 'yucky' feelings are. But it is exactly in this place, 'through the gateway of the wound' that we can enter to travel beyond the overeating and binging symptoms, to re-emerge into the incredible aliveness and joy trapped in the eating patterns. The following are the steps that led me out of the nightmare of binge-eating: 6 Steps to Freedom from Emotional Eating1. Love yourself I learned to love myself even when I binge; to love the overweight me. This was hard! When we embrace our negativity (shame, guilt, fear, anger and grief and fat), we are in essence creating for ourselves a new reality. It doesn't matter how much shame, guilt, or fear we experience. It doesn't matter what we've done. We know that we are lovable deep down underneath all the 'garbage'. 2. Give up perfectionism Welcome to an 'imperfect world'. What is an ideal body or weight? Who is to say? I learned to see life more as a spiral or zig-zag, not a straight line. Life is more fluid now. Sometimes I still binge, although rarely, and I accept this part of me that binges. I focus more on becoming aware of my hopes and dreams. 3. Break out of the "Being-Nice" trapOooh. This was a 'big' one. How many 'jolly' fat people are crying inside? I used to be the 'nicest' person you would ever encounter. You could be violating my boundaries, stepping on my shoes and insulting me, but I would always be sweetly smiling. Afterwards I might binge. I am learning the difference between being nice and genuine caring. It's a fine line. If any of the following feelings are familiar you may be caught in the snares of "the being-nice trap": "Feeling extraordinarily dry, fatigued, frail, depressed, confused, gagged, muzzled, unaroused... Feeling frightened, halt or weak, without inspiration, without animation, without soulfulness, without meaning, shame-bearing, chronically fuming, volatile, stuck, uncreative, compressed, crazed... not insistent on one's own tempo, to be self-conscious... A healthy woman is much like a wolf: robust, chock-full, strong life force, life-giving, territorially aware, inventive, loyal, roving..." Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes 4. Find alternative means of copingSharing problems, dialoguing, journal writing, communicating with Self, dreamwork, reflecting and meditating. I drive near a forest nearby and tune into nature, let my mind rest from dwelling on problems, try to feel some joy... 5. Nurture yourself in new waysI give myself what I need. I sleep when I am tired, eat when I am hungry, love when I feel empty. I enjoy my solitude when I need to be alone and I share with others when I need to express myself. 6. Be open to IntimacyI allowed others into my life. I trusted. This is what I really 'craved'. It's much more fulfilling that the extra cupcake. Yes, it's scary sometimes. But I meditate more, keep a journal, dialogue with the scared part of me, experiment. I did grief work. I became more sensitive to people. I became more aware of who was capable of being 'there' for me.
|
