Coping with Life Transitions

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This digest covers representative models of life transitions with their counseling implications. It also presents selected coping skills and attitudes with which to manage such changes effectively.

A transition is a short-term life change characterized by a sharp discontinuity with the past. Thus, transitions have identifiable beginnings and usually definite endings. Examples are job changes, disabling accidents, marriage, birth, divorce, victimization, death, moving and travel. These transitions can be positive experiences, such as a vacation, or painful and tragic such as losing a relationship. Such changes usually are experienced as losses; hence, transitions thrust the person into mourning. A transition can be voluntary or involuntary, and it can be on-time (as in retirement), or off-time (as in the fatal illness of a child). Excluded from this definition of transition are developmental changes--growing from childhood to adolescence, for example--and broad social or political changes.

Three Ways To View Life Transitions: Metaphors From Classical Literature

Bridges (1980) uses metaphors, mainly from classical literature, to describe transitions over a lifetime. The journey, for example, is a common image. Homer, the classical Greek poet, describes in vivid images Ulysses' decade of travel changes. A counseling implication of this type of image is to encourage clients to see their individual and serial transitions in terms of personally meaningful metaphors, and as significant learning events on their lifelines.

Social Interaction Model

A second way of characterizing a life transition is Schlossberg's (1984) social interaction model. She characterizes a transition in terms of its type, context, and impact. She states that a transition must be examined in regard to:

The way a person appraises the transition event;
The nature of the transition itself;
The coping resources present at the time of the transition;
The personal characteristics of the person and the environment (social supports, for example).

These interacting variables then are studied to ascertain the balance of current and possible assets and liabilities. They also are linked to developmental characteristics of the person, such as identity, age and maturity. A counseling implication of this model is that the counselor must do a thorough assessment of these variables to determine where the person is now in relation to the transition, the balance of coping assets and liabilities, and what resources can be marshaled to help that person cope satisfactorily.

Predictable Overlapping Stages

A third model construes the transition as a process consisting of fairly predictable stages that overlap one another and that often recycle through earlier stages (Brammer, 1991). These stages are adaptations of the literature on death as described by Kubler-Ross (1969) and Parkes (1972). Hopson (1981) has adapted this model of the grieving process to transitions in general.

The stages begin with the entry experience of confusion and emotional discomfort, along with shock if the loss is unexpected and severe. Following this initial reaction is a brief period of sadness or despair, often alternating with relief and positive feelings. In a divorce, for example, the person experiences alternating feelings of sadness over the dissolution of the relationship, but also some relief that conflict and ambiguity are lessened.

Unless the loss is severe, a period of stabilized moods is experienced. Defense mechanisms such as rationalization, denial and fantasy, for example, are mobilized. Previously learned coping skills and resources such as one's support network are tapped. But this stabilization is usually short-lived as awareness of fears for the future and anger at the transition emerges. Self-esteem usually plummets and feelings of sadness, dread, or depression take over.

The length of this feeling of depression depends on the person's perception of the severity of the loss, availability of coping resources, and cultural attitudes about the appropriate length of grieving. The person is encouraged to perceive this time as a healing period and relief from pressures of work and responsibility. Self-nurturing and frequent interaction with the support networks are important, but each person must discover his or her own method of getting through this painful period.

One goal is to let go of the past person, thing, job or value and take hold of a new object or relationship. These attitudes and resources, combined with the passage of time, enable the person to regain self-confidence and self-esteem. The person begins to look to the future with optimism and hope. If this process of healing and taking hold is successful, this stage emerges in a renewal phase characterized by setting new goals, making plans, and initiating actions. Thus, growth is enhanced through continual renewal efforts.

One counseling implication of this model is the importance of determining where people are in this process model after the transition has begun. In the first stage, much support is needed to help people get through their initial shock and the disruption of their lives. People need to understand the confusing feelings of despair and hope following initial reactions to the transition event. When the subsequent short stabilization period is experienced, methods of sustaining hope and self-esteem, as well as inoculation from depression, are needed. Since change frequently is injurious to physical health also, people need to be cautioned to maintain optimal health. Counselors need to be alert for indications that the person is letting go of the past and is taking hold of the new, so that reinforcement of these efforts at healing and renewal can be given. Thus, the renewal process and the trend toward growth and recovery can be accelerated and maintained.

This process often does not proceed in nicely calibrated phases, and people often recycle through the process. The sequences of these phases are not always predictable. For example, some people might spend years grieving the losses from their life transitions. A key criticism of this process model is that it is often oversimplified and the orderly progression of the stages for all people in transition is taken for granted.