To unmask a manipulator in the office!

Home

Boss, colleague or employee... When the relations with them are a matter for the puzzle, there is strong to bet that the manipulation threatens! To mark it is necessary to protect themselves of it. Advice of psychotherapist Christel Petitcollin, to survive in mined land.

To bloom to work can become quickly a mirage reserved to luckier others than you, when a manipulator prowls in the vicinity, and chooses you like prey. Without wanting to blacken the picture necessarily, these "psychological vampires" can transform your professional life in true nightmare. That it is your boss, a colleague or your employee, this last masters the art often "to spoil" you life. When one knows that a non recognized work made climb of about 16% the risks of illnesses coronariennes and 38% those of heart attacks , one begins from now on to lend an ear attentive to the advice of experts to mark them, to unmask them, and the squeezer!

..To unmask a boss depreciating

Extremely intriguing, the boss manipulator starts with convening you in his office to cense you. You are charming, or innovating, according to... Brief, he is to two fingers to confide you the contract of the century, an information that you will take care not to become known, evidently. The following day, odious, the aforesaid boss takes down your projects, critical your holding. He is quite possible that he changes you of office or assign you of the tasks, in shift with your assignments.

Decoding: Champion of depreciation to assure his reign, the boss manipulator perfectly masters the art of the treacherous remark. All as the one of the division. To sow confusion in his victim's mind as for the esteem that carries him his colleagues, and himself, is probably his favorite pastime. Between two personal attacks, he knows how to play the chefs/copains also. In short, he distributes the good and the bad notes. And your professional life is suspended to its approval... moving.

The risk: The moral pressure being constant, she can drag a real decrease of your expertises. Orders and counterorders risk to push you to the mistake. While the sensation of isolation damages to speed big V, your esteem of oneself.

..To protect itself/themselves from a "small" colleague chief

Devoured of frustration, a colleague manipulator looks for a scapegoat to evacuate them. Once he found it, he is going to use itself to mobilize his attention, to invade his space, so much physical that psychic. He hisses or either speak strong occupies the olfactory field, by a characteristic odor (perfume, cigar, or other). Visually, he is intrusif, he disturbs you to all subject, let an object, of the papers... Brief, he imposes himself sensorily.

Decoding: A colleague manipulator plays the "small" chief. Actually attributing a power that he doesn't have, he exercises a real enterprise of mental colonization, and makes the seat of your thoughts. Finally, he juggles between retention of information and slanderous rumor.

The risk: Obsessed by his presence, you can have difficulty concentrating you, and to show you little by little, less efficient. In prey to the doubts, that he distills insidious way, your report to the true hierarchy alters, most of the time to your disadvantage.

..To mark an employee "bungler"

Of type passif/agressif, an employee can also manipulate his boss. His energy is turned mainly to slow down some projects, often in a fuzzy way. He leads astray some papers, forget to put in copy such person... Nothing serious apparently, rather a succession of setback, or of brakes...

Decoding: actually, an employee manipulator doesn't support the authority, and adjust his parental conflicts in the office. Humiliated to obey, whereas you ask him more to collaborate to an enterprise, he uses himself to operate micro-sabotages... He can even use the stop illness as reprisals. An annoyance and he falls sick.

The risk: Posing totally as victim facing your angers justified, you risk culpabiliser. He doesn't see really why you are so uncompromising with him, whereas he makes his maximum. Result: you can go until there to put in peril a part of your sector... Or to recover you to the magistrates.

..The good attitude facing the manipulators

Whatever is your hierarchical position and the one of the manipulator, his presence entails a physical fatigue, of the mental confusion, fatally and of the doubts as for your capacities. The depression watches, associated to a real professional demotivation most of the time. Don't be mistaken there, to come out of their ascendancy is not necessarily simple! However, some tracks exist to put them from afar. Recenter yourselves without reserve on your professional expertises, don't especially yield to his emotional game and evacuate all feeling of guilt. The most efficient exercise and nevertheless perilous consists to maintain a certain distance of security. To cut short to the critiques, underline that you take note of it, and decline all propositions that seem excessively familiar to you. Refuse all appointment outside of the workplace, for example. If that is not sufficient, consult to make shoulder you.

2008-12-17