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In our chaotic world, everyone appreciates a little civility.

Now, more than ever, it pays to be a gentleman — admired by men for your ease in every situation and by women for your worldly ways.

A gentleman's manners are always impeccable. He dresses appropriately for any occasion, knows instinctively how to treat women, acts his age and is always fun to be around.

Yes, a gentleman follows some established rules. But in a revised and expanded edition of How To Be A Gentleman (Thomas Nelson, 160 pp. $14.99)author John Bridges insists that gentlemanly behavior is not about do's and don't's; it's about common sense and courtesy.

Take away even a few of Bridges' pointers, and your friends, lovers and business partners will be impressed.

A gentleman . . .

1. Keeps to the right, whether he is walking on a sidewalk, down a hallway or on the stairs.

2. . . . does not attempt to walk and send text messages simultaneously.

3. . . . waits for a woman to initiate a social kiss. If she leans toward him, he turns his cheek toward her lips. And when she graces him with a light, brushing kiss, he doesn't dawdle in accepting it.

4. . . . doesn't wipe away a lipstick smudge in the presence of the woman who planted it on him. He bears it, even if briefly, as a badge of honor, wiping it away later with a handkerchief.

5. . . . waits until a lady at the table lifts her fork before he takes his first bite.

6. . . . eats the garnish on his dinner plate if he so desires.

7. . . . places his knife and his fork on his plate side by side, as if they were the hands of a clock set at 5:25, when he's finished eating.

8. . . . always has an umbrella to share.

9. . . . never wears a belt when he is wearing suspenders.

10. . . . leaves the bottom button of his vest undone.

11. . . . never wears a bow-tie with a button-down shirt.

12. . . . owns at least one pair of black lace-up shoes.

13. . . . usually takes his shirts to the laundry but knows how to use an iron and spray starch.

14. . . . is careful about what he says in e-mails. He meticulously reviews his messages, editing if necessary to make sure recipients will understand what he's saying — and the tone in which he says it.

15. . . . knows how to make a grilled cheese sandwich at 2 a.m. and an omelet at 7 a.m.

16. . . . doesn't flaunt his newest gadgets, no matter how expensive or cutting-edge they may be.

17. . . . feels no necessity to wear socks after Memorial Day — at least in casual situations. If he is Southern, he may not even wear them to church.

18. . . . never wears the same pair of blue jeans two days in a row.

19. . . . puts the liquor away when he wants guests to leave.

20. . . . always offers to get up and make the coffee in the morning.

21. . . . never waits for something better to turn up.  

                                                                                                   2009-02-28

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