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A close friend of mine recently underwent tests for leukemia. The most agonizing part of the ordeal, she said, was the week-long wait for the test results. A bad outcome she could learn to cope with, my friend said. It was the not knowing, the uncertainty, that was so difficult.
'People feel worse when something bad might occur than when something bad will occur,' wrote Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert in a recent New York Times op-ed. 'Most of us aren't losing sleep and sucking down Marlboros because the Dow is going to fall another thousand points, but because we don't know whether it will fall or not ─ and human beings find uncertainty more painful than the things they're uncertain about.'
Prof. Gilbert, for example, cites a study of people who had genetic tests to determine their risk of developing Huntington's disease, a neurodegenerative disorder. Those who learned they were likely to develop the condition were happier a year after testing than those who didn't learn what their risk was.
Why are we so scared of the unknown? And why would we rather know, rather than merely suspect, that bad things will happen? When we know something bad is going to happen we may be sad for a bit. But then most people try to make the best of the situation, by changing their behaviors and attitudes. It's tough, however, 'to come to terms with circumstances whose terms we don't yet know,' writes Prof. Gilbert.
Uncertainty, like death and taxes, is an unavoidable part of life, however. You or the kids may come down with mysterious ailments, deadlines for work are unpredictable, traffic snafus slow us down. A lot of expectant couples, especially those struggling with fertility issues, also deal with uncertainty each month as they wait to determine whether they are pregnant. All this means that we need to figure out how to cope with uncertainty─in part by accepting its very existence. There are simply things that we can't control, no matter how hard we try, so the trick is to stay flexible and positive.
Readers, have you had experiences when you were on tenterhooks, struggling to deal with the unknown? How have you learned to cope with uncertainty?
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