|
Is the ability to stay married something that can be taught?
A reader writes to ask whether anyone has studied the value of 'marriage education' classes programs and seminars aimed specifically at strengthening marriages by improving couples' ability to communicate and resolve conflicts.
There's some evidence that marriage education helps couples stick together. A study published in 2006 in the Journal of Family Psychology linked taking marriage education classes before tying the knot to higher satisfaction and commitment in marriage, less conflict and reduced chances of divorce, regardless of couples' race, income or education.
Researchers, led by the University of Denver's Scott Stanley, acknowledged that couples who choose to take premarital education probably already have more of the social support, skills and commitment required for a satisfying marriage; that is, they're a self-selecting group. However, the researchers controlled for a wide range of related variables in the random sample of 3,000 adults, and concluded the effects were too significant to be accounted for entirely by self-selection.
Learning marital communication skills may not be able to check philanderers like South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford, whose midlife upheaval played out on a very public stage. But marriage education may be able to help keep such marriages intact, even after an incident of infidelity. It's worth noting, as this recent New York Times story says, that education in general, and knowledge about divorce, are linked in other research to longer-lasting marriages. Study after study has shown that divorce is less common among college-educated men and women. And couples who are aware of the consequences of divorce, including the financial strain and upheaval in children's lives that often ensue, are more likely to stick together.
As a parent, I intend to encourage my two youngest children before they marry to get premarital counseling or marriage education; in my view, marriages come under so much strain today that any source of potential support is worthwhile. Among my three stepchildren who are adults, one of my stepsons and his wife went through premarital classes; they had good reviews for the process and their marriage is strong.
Readers, have you taken pre-marital counseling or training? Or enrolled in a marriage education course? What do you think of the idea? 2009-07-30
|
