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To live together, out of the question!"I refuse to share my vital space", "I need my liberty": some couples refuse the systematic cohabitation, and the two partners live each on their side, only meeting some days per week. If it is generally about a deliberate choice, it can be also a forced decision (professional mutation, notably), then often more painful than blooming, but limited in the time. Some also choose to live separately, by fear of the engagement, but, little by little, get settled at one or the other, the air of nothing. That looks like a couple.But one can tie a strong relation when one only shares some evenings per week? If it seems possible to some lovers (a minority), according to the specialists, one cannot speak then of actual couple. It is what one calls "the marriage of weekend, the two partners only meeting to share pleasant activities, explain Robert Neuburger, psychiatrist and therapist of couple and family. But this formula often suits the couples who are not more" of them already. Difficult, he seems, not to share the daily, the small joys and the big pains, the days of fatigue, or of illness, the invoices and the planning of the common nest! These couples affirm to live the best, without knowing the reverse of the medal, only. But in the facts, often, they idealize the relation, and, as in the beginning of a meeting, play a role, conceal their shortcomings and weak points not to show them that a smooth and ideal picture. who is only their personality's part. A history finished before having begunBesides, it would be false to believe that this love avoids the problems part-time. "The difficulty sometimes comes from this lack of sharing, of the absence of intimacy scorers that is a common territory or the shared finances", explain R. Neuburger. The common life amounts then to the emotional and sexual life. This solution, sometimes adopted to avoid some problems at the time of a possible separation, pose problem in the construction of the couple since the separation is anticipated so that it is not sometimes more necessary. insofar as the couple doesn't exist practically! The risks of the couple lifeYet, if to live in whole seems essential to the majority of the couples, the daily to two is far from being a long calm stream! Some difficulties are bound to the reports between the spaces of intimacy of each, and the intimacy of the couple, explain R. Neuburger. Those that lived alone a long time before getting settled, feel laborious sensations of invasion of their intimacy. It is necessary to let a place to the other, where one managed all alone, to transform a territory that belonged us exclusively, in co-ownership", very well. That the one or the one that never knew the disputes about the musical choice, of the television program, of the activities of weekend or the place in the bed throws the first pierre.Car the opportunities don't miss! 2009-09-30
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