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Some assemble in spite of the differences: color of skin, culture, religion... The point on these mixed couples, their difficulties and the assets of these unions that conjugate dissimilarity and love. "I met Pascal in the office, he is a Senegalese... That was not easy with my parents" confesses Marie, 42 years. Pierre lives with Anissa, Algerian and Muslim, "the education of the children relief a little the puzzle." Asia, Tunisia, Switzerland... the love doesn't know the borders, and the "mixed" so-called couples increase. For reason, "the opportunities of meetings increased, they take place at the school, to work, on Internet, and at the time of journeys" explains Isabelle Lévy, lecturer and author of a work on the question1. She puts in light the limits to which it is so easy to collide, but also the wealths that it can bring.   ..Of the plural incentives of the mixed couples This atypical meeting in love orchestrates itself mainly around two axes. "This choice can get used in reaction to discerned families like too classics" noticed Isabelle Lévy. He also takes place in echo to a strong desire of opening, in a society that seems sometimes folded on herself. "The co-education in love, real cultural shock, open the mind and the heart as surely as of long journeys" it adds. The culinary fashions defer "The kitchen of Khadija transports me to the confines of another universe" tells Frédéric evoking his wife's tajines. The report to the body is not the same. "With Wen, I got to the Taï chi, another world for me" confesses Julia. Rarer, but nevertheless existing, some mixed unions answer stakes transgénérationnels. Family's secret can also play his role.  ..Of the unions to the Antipodes! All is not always simple to the country of the difference. The opportunities of conflicts flow. "To start with the contraception or the number of children" expresses Isabelle Lévy. In France, to have two of them is sufficient, for a Moroccan a boy's birth is for example, essential, can imports that one is 3 or even 4. The food régimes are also the subject of disputes. When one is vegetarian and that the other only swears by meat, to make to eat becomes a real puzzle. The couple's arguments and the tonalities of language also vary according to the cultures. "She is Algerian, him Peruvian, and when she loses temper, he doesn't understand why she shouts, whereas it is cultural" famous Isabelle Lévy. Understanding, open-mindedness and concessions are therefore more than ever indispensable in a mixed couple...  ..The in-laws: a poem The moment of the presentation to the parents is often a crucial moment. The father portrays himself on the fact that it is not the stepson for which he waited. The mother worries, of his daughter's union with a stranger. That he is black or yellow, Muslim, Protestant or Buddhist... when a man of different culture goes in a family, there is strong to bet that he should give his proofs more that of others. Well often it is the ignorance that entails the fear and complexifie the reports. First essential stage by the in-laws: to make hunt to the prejudices! And to let them a little time to accept that the important, it is the happiness of their children, not the color of skin or the spouse's religion!  ..When the child appears  "It is important for me to return I to the synagogue Saturday morning to pray. I like to go there with my daughter" confides Régis. His wife doesn't oppose herself of it. But it is not always as simple. A child's arrival upsets the couples in general. In case of co-education, the challenge is often of size. The way to raise a child necessarily diverges. Since the birth, the question of the baptism or the circumcision arises. "A mixed couple has all interest to anticipate the questionnements, and to answer there together since the "child's conception warns Isabelle Lévy. Otherwise, there are big odds that one of the two parts is forgotten. "I feel wronged in my transmission duty" complains Alice, who let the family of his Lebanese husband take the step. Otherwise, that one is practicing or the religious question doesn't weigh its weight, and demand to be clarified. For Claire, 12 years, child of a Catholic and Jewish couple, it is complicated. His grandmother gave him a cross in pendant that his mother refuses that she carries, and all his girlfriends don't make their communion her. A child has need to be located to know that he is.  ..Of wealths in sharing Certainly, most mixed couples meet points of dissension with time, to which they had not thought. Inversely, the attention of the spouses is turned toward the discovery of their wealth in the difference. "It is not anymore a pressure, but an opportunity of tolerance and discovery of the unknown" explains Isabelle Lévy. All is to reinvent, to put in sharing to construct. The planning of the house, the culinary tastes, the education of the children, and even the funeral rituals are opportunities to exchange. More that of others, each must tempt to respect his partner's customs. To conclude, Isabelle Lévy confesses to have met in unison at the time of his investigation "a majority of couples, in good agreement on the way of which they led their life". Could the difference be the new cement of the couple? To meditate...
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