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Who didn't ever know the jealousy? She exists in all cultures! According to the individuals, the origins of this feeling are various. Lack of confidence, projection, repression. Doctissimo comes back on the incentives hidden behind this possessiveness in love. The jealousy points its nose in many couples, often without reason... relates! ..The jealousy, a need? The jealousy is a current feeling: since the childhood, we have need to be liked, and even favorite! This feeling can appear then towards one the parents, a brother or a sister. Besides Freud wrote that it is not normal not to feel a jealousy. According to him, it would be even a need! He is true that one observes this feeling in all cultures, under all latitudes. Nevertheless, it is necessary to underline the influence of the values of the society: the place of the fidelity in the couple is important in the development of this feeling. Without speaking of the changes in the domestic diagrams (polygamy for example). ..Under all its shapes. In fact, Freud distinguished three shapes of jealousy thus: .The normal, competitive jealousy It is when the partner is identified unconsciously to the mother or the father. The jealous feels a sort of fear then to lose the maternal breast... .The intended jealousy It is when the jealous suspects the other because he is himself infidel. .The raving jealousy For Freud, it is about a sort of denial of his homosexuality: "I don't like it because it is a man, but it is my wife who likes it"... ..Men, women,: same fight He seems to have there more of men jealous in a pathological manner than of women. Certainly, one doesn't possess any exact numbers on the phenomenon. But this feeling would be shared fairly, and merely more visible at the masculine race. And there is a slant bound to the culture maybe: one often considers that a man can have some relations solely for the sex, whereas a woman necessarily puts some feelings in her relation. The feminine disloyalty is considered like more serious, what could explain their partner's more violent reactions. ..Lack of confidence The specialists underline today that this feeling can find a simpler explanation, as the lack of confidence in itself. The jealous doubt of his seduction potential. When one has confidence sufficiently in itself, one projects his confidence in general on the other.
It could also be in some cases about a fusion" "anguish. The jealous is afraid to lose his identity in the couple, and look for a third person therefore to reassure themselves. The jealousy allows him in a way to keep his autonomy, to exist. ..A vicious circle? Paradoxically, many jealous, in fact of the anxious that question them even, choose the partners who exacerbate this feeling. In order to reassure themselves, they get in couple with attractive women, or even intriguing. These will be characterized then by a sociability that is going to exacerbate the feeling of jealousy finally! Besides this "vicious circle", it is necessary to underline that the jealousy maybe freely agreed one life style! Some couples base their relation on one fashion of working provocation/jalousie. And in some cases, the spouse, object of suspicions, can find this positive jealousy: he is the center of exclusive interest of the other! 2008-12-17
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