|
Perfectly natural feeling when he remains moderate, the jealousy can become also sickly, excessive, stuffy, intolerable, and to take in peril mental health and life of couple. According to a Canadian survey, a group of adults class the jealousy to the second rank of the most important difficulties, among 37 conjugal situations. And if the moderate jealousy is inseparable of the relation in love, it becomes, when it is carried away, particularly harmful for the couple. To have a twinge when one sees a beautiful woman approaching of near her husband doesn't have anything sickly. but if it is not necessary to be laxiste or naive, the systematic spying is ominous for everybody. " Where were you? With whom did you eat lunch? What told you this bellâtre, and why you smiled while listening it? Whom do you phone? Who is this blond woodcock who watches you with eyes of hake fries? " : the jealous sickly makes her own life, and of the one of her partner, a real hell. Because the uncontrolled and unverifiable jealousy becomes quickly ominous to the couple. Between suspicions and passionsParanoiac and extremely possessive, the jealous becomes quickly obsessional, and he has a goal only, to look for costs that costs, by all possible means, to discover the atrocious "truth", the one that is going to break her heart and her life, her partner deceives it. This reaction of aggressiveness and hate to a loss (or to a simple threat of loss) accompanies generally of a decrease of the esteem of oneself. The jealous, if he persuades himself so easily that one betrays it, think that he doesn't deserve the love that one carries him indeed: "my wife (or my husband) is younger than I, and me her suspects to have a lover of his age" often hear the psychologists. He lives in the permanent suspicion, doesn't have confidence in person, and "makes itself a movie" as soon as the portable of the to be liked doesn't answer! Shut in in his bubble, he distorts the subjects that one values him and makes a mountain of a detail. His unceasing suspicions make it very unhappy and he can be going as far as destroying his couple. How to live with? If the jealous suffers, he also makes, unfortunately, to stand his spouse, and the life of couple can turn to the nightmare. Indeed, the false jealousy completely the dialogue, and can be a real "pushes au-crime". What of more terrifying and besides démotivant, when one doesn't have anything to feel guilty, that to feel that the other doesn't have confidence and hear each other to say permanently "I am sure that you deceive me, I know that you will leave me". One can, with the passing of the days, to have enough blameless being of it. In the daily life, even though the attitude of the jealous is very hard to support, don't abound in his sense while playing to seduce, and don't look for to provoke it because the game could degenerate very quickly. Don't forget that some jealous can commit irreparable acts. Avoid the allusions, the humor, and the sentences therefore double-entendre, that risk to make he mad of rage. On the contrary, reassure it while repeating to him that he can have confidence in you and that you like it. But attention: be prevenu that, however that may be, everything that you will be able to tell him at the time of his crises will be able to be used against you". It will come to feed his jealousy, since he distorts all. Explain to him therefore that you won't answer his unceasing questions and remain insensible to his harassments. Because you don't must either to give up, at the risk of putting the finger in a terrifying gearing. Thus, many jealous husbands ask their wife to stop working. and when they accept, they often pay it very dear. Indeed all jealous tries to alienate his partner's liberty, to put it under bell, all to control. Before all thing, he must heal. Suggest him to consult a psychologist to know from where comes him this terrifying lack of confidence in the other and in him. 2009-05-04
|
